I drew
him aside and told him what I knew.
Reverdy's blue eyes grew terribly deep. They darkened like clouds in a
rapidly gathering storm. They were full of comprehending compassion.
They expressed alarm, but also an inexorable sense of futility, as if
there was nothing to be done. He was silent. He had fought the Indians;
he was used to the rough life of the West. He did not betray fear;
rather he acted as if there was nothing to be done. When he began to
speak that was the tenor of his words. He revealed to me possibilities
that I had never dreamed of. I could see that I was caught in
unforeseen circumstances. Some of the dangers involved in the situation
he only hinted at. For example, the matter of my living with Zoe. There
might be people in Jacksonville who believed that my attitude toward Zoe
was not of a brotherly nature. Such a suspicion seemed horrible to me.
But Reverdy went on to show me why it might be entertained. This remote
country, lacking in opportunity for legitimate expression, held secrets
of bestial and gross departures from nature. Here was Zoe, young and
beautiful. What did our kindred blood have to do with the matter of my
desire? I had not grown up with her, and it would be natural enough if I
did not feel toward her as a brother. Incest was common enough around
here.
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