"But there are things, there is a thing, which the soul longs to pour forth
into a kindred ear.
"Dear sister, have you ever known what it is to keep wanting and wanting
and wanting to kiss some one's mouth, and you may not; to touch some one's
hand, and you cannot? I am in love, Jemima.
"The old Dutchwoman from whom I hire this place has a little stepdaughter,
and her name begins with 'E'.
"She is English. I do not know how her father came to marry a Boer-woman.
It makes me feel so strange to put down that letter, that I can hardly go
on writing 'E'. I've loved her ever since I came here. For weeks I have
not been able to eat or drink; my very tobacco when I smoke has no taste;
and I can remain for no more than five minutes in one place, and sometimes
feel as though I were really going mad.
"Every evening I go there to fetch my milk. Yesterday she gave me some
coffee. The spoon fell on the ground. She picked it up; when she gave it
me her finger touched mine. Jemima, I do not know if I fancied it--I
shivered hot, and she shivered too! I thought, 'It is all right; she will
be mine; she loves me!' Just then, Jemima, in came a fellow, a great,
coarse fellow, a German--a ridiculous fellow, with curls right down to his
shoulders; it makes one sick to look at him. He's only a servant of the
Boer-woman's, and a low, vulgar, uneducated thing; that's never been to
boarding-school in his life.
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