I have heard of you before. Go, take your
infamous beef contract out of this establishment. The Interior
Department has nothing whatever to do with subsistence for the army."
I went away. But I was exasperated now. I said I would haunt them;
I would infest every department of this iniquitous government till that
contract business was settled. I would collect that bill, or fall, as
fell my predecessors, trying. I assailed the Postmaster-General;
I besieged the Agricultural Department; I waylaid the Speaker of the
House of Representatives. They had nothing to do with army contracts for
beef. I moved upon the Commissioner of the Patent Office.
I said, "Your August Excellency, on or about--"
"Perdition! have you got here with your incendiary beef contract, at
last? We have nothing to do with beef contracts for the army, my dear
sir."
"Oh, that is all very well--but somebody has got to pay for that beef.
It has got to be paid now, too, or I'll confiscate this old Patent Office
and everything in it."
"But, my dear sir--"
"It don't make any difference, sir. The Patent Office is liable for that
beef, I reckon; and, liable or not liable, the Patent Office has got to
pay for it.
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