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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Sketches New and Old"

But I can't raise anybody
with this bell. They're all gone to bed. Where is the goose grease?"
"On the mantelpiece in the nursery. If you'll step there and speak to
Maria--"
I fetched the goose grease and went to sleep again. Once more I was
called:
"Mortimer, I so hate to disturb you, but the room is still too cold for
me to try to apply this stuff. Would you mind lighting the fire? It is
all ready to touch a match to."
I dragged myself out and lit the fire, and then sat down disconsolate.
"Mortimer, don't sit there and catch your death of cold. Come to bed."
As I was stepping in she said:
"But wait a moment. Please give the child some more of the medicine."
Which I did. It was a medicine which made a child more or less lively;
so my wife made use of its waking interval to strip it and grease it all
over with the goose oil. I was soon asleep once more, but once more I
had to get up.
"Mortimer, I feel a draft. I feel it distinctly. There is nothing so
bad for this disease as a draft. Please move the crib in front of the
fire."
I did it; and collided with the rug again, which I threw in the fire.
Mrs. McWilliams sprang out of bed and rescued it and we had some words.


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