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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Sketches New and Old"

I was aroused once
more:
"Dearie, would you mind moving the crib to your side of the bed? It is
nearer the register."
I moved it, but had a collision with the rug and woke up the child. I
dozed off once more, while my wife quieted the sufferer. But in a little
while these words came murmuring remotely through the fog of my
drowsiness:
"Mortimer, if we only had some goose grease--will you ring?"
I climbed dreamily out, and stepped on a cat, which responded with a
protest and would have got a convincing kick for it if a chair had not
got it instead.
"Now, Mortimer, why do you want to turn up the gas and wake up the child
again?"
"Because I want to see how much I am hurt, Caroline."
"Well, look at the chair, too--I have no doubt it is ruined. Poor cat,
suppose you had--"
"Now I am not going to suppose anything about the cat. It never would
have occurred if Maria had been allowed to remain here and attend to
these duties, which are in her line and are not in mine."
"Now, Mortimer, I should think you would be ashamed to make a remark like
that. It is a pity if you cannot do the few little things I ask of you
at such an awful time as this when our child--"
"There, there, I will do anything you want.


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