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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Sketches New and Old"

Don't allow yourself to believe any such nonsense as
that. The more cause that girl finds to regret that she did not marry
you, the more comfortable you will feel over it. It isn't poetical, but
it is mighty sound doctrine.

"ARITHMETICUS." Virginia, Nevada.--"If it would take a cannon-ball
3 and 1/3 seconds to travel four miles, and 3 and 3/8 seconds to
travel the next four, and 3 and 5/8 to travel the next four, and if
its rate of progress continued to diminish in the same ratio, how
long would it take it to go fifteen hundred million miles?"
I don't know.

"AMBITIOUS LEARNER," Oakland.--Yes; you are right America was not
discovered by Alexander Selkirk.

"DISCARDED LOVER."--"I loved, and still love, the beautiful Edwitha
Howard, and intended to marry her. Yet, during my temporary absence
at Benicia, last week, alas! she married Jones. Is my happiness to
be thus blasted for life? Have I no redress?"
Of course you have. All the law, written and unwritten, is on your side.
The intention and not the act constitutes crime--in other words,
constitutes the deed. If you call your bosom friend a fool, and intend
it for an insult, it is an insult; but if you do it playfully, and
meaning no insult, it is not an insult.


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