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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"Sketches New and Old"

I moved out of range
--I began to feel in the way.
The chief said, "That was the Colonel, likely. I've been expecting him
for two days. He will be up now right away."
He was correct. The Colonel appeared in the door a moment afterward with
a dragoon revolver in his hand.
He said, "Sir, have I the honor of addressing the poltroon who edits this
mangy sheet?"
"You have. Be seated, sir. Be careful of the chair, one of its legs is
gone. I believe I have the honor of addressing the putrid liar, Colonel
Blatherskite Tecumseh?"
"Right, Sir. I have a little account to settle with you. If you are at
leisure we will begin."
"I have an article on the 'Encouraging Progress of Moral and Intellectual
Development in America' to finish, but there is no hurry. Begin."
Both pistols rang out their fierce clamor at the same instant. The chief
lost a lock of his hair, and the Colonel's bullet ended its career in the
fleshy part of my thigh. The Colonel's left shoulder was clipped a
little. They fired again. Both missed their men this time, but I got my
share, a shot in the arm. At the third fire both gentlemen were wounded
slightly, and I had a knuckle chipped.


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