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Smiles, Samuel, 1812-1904

"Character"


The golden rule of married life is, "Bear and forbear." Marriage,
like government, is a series of compromises. One must give and
take, refrain and restrain, endure and be patient. One may not be
blind to another's failings, but they may be borne with good-
natured forbearance. Of all qualities, good temper is the one
that wears and works the best in married life. Conjoined with
self-control, it gives patience--the patience to bear and
forbear, to listen without retort, to refrain until the angry
flash has passed. How true it is in marriage, that "the soft
answer turneth away wrath!"
Burns the poet, in speaking of the qualities of a good wife,
divided them into ten parts. Four of these he gave to good
temper, two to good sense, one to wit, one to beauty--such as a
sweet face, eloquent eyes, a fine person, a graceful carriage; and
the other two parts he divided amongst the other qualities
belonging to or attending on a wife--such as fortune,
connections, education (that is, of a higher standard than
ordinary), family blood, &c.; but he said: "Divide those two
degrees as you please, only remember that all these minor
proportions must be expressed by fractions, for there is not any
one of them that is entitled to the dignity of an integer."
It has been said that girls are very good at making nets, but
that it would be better still if they would learn to make cages.


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