However this may be, it is certain
that their happiness depends mainly on their temperament,
especially upon their disposition to be cheerful; upon their
complaisance, kindliness of manner, and willingness to oblige
others--details of conduct which are like the small-change in the
intercourse of life, and are always in request.
Men may show their disregard of others in various unpolite ways--
as, for instance, by neglect of propriety in dress, by the absence
of cleanliness, or by indulging in repulsive habits. The slovenly
dirty person, by rendering himself physically disagreeable, sets
the tastes and feelings of others at defiance, and is rude and
uncivil only under another form.
David Ancillon, a Huguenot preacher of singular attractiveness,
who studied and composed his sermons with the greatest care, was
accustomed to say "that it was showing too little esteem for the
public to take no pains in preparation, and that a man who should
appear on a ceremonial-day in his nightcap and dressing-gown,
could not commit a greater breach of civility."
The perfection of manner is ease--that it attracts no man's
notice as such, but is natural and unaffected. Artifice is
incompatible with courteous frankness of manner. Rochefoucauld
has said that "nothing so much prevents our being natural as the
desire of appearing so." Thus we come round again to sincerity
and truthfulness, which find their outward expression in
graciousness, urbanity, kindliness, and consideration for the
feelings of others.
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