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Smiles, Samuel, 1812-1904

"Character"

He does not brag
of his achievements or of his calling, or "talk shop" whenever he
opens his mouth. On the contrary, in all that he says or does, he
will be modest, unpretentious, unassuming; exhibiting his true
character in performing rather than in boasting, in doing rather
than in talking.
Want of respect for the feelings of others usually originates in
selfishness, and issues in hardness and repulsiveness of manner.
It may not proceed from malignity so much as from want of sympathy
and want of delicacy--a want of that perception of, and attention
to, those little and apparently trifling things by which pleasure
is given or pain occasioned to others. Indeed, it may be said
that in self-sacrificingness, so to speak, in the ordinary
intercourse of life, mainly consists the difference between being
well and ill bred.
Without some degree of self-restraint in society, a man may be
found almost insufferable. No one has pleasure in holding
intercourse with such a person, and he is a constant source of
annoyance to those about him. For want of self-restraint, many
men are engaged all their lives in fighting with difficulties of
their own making, and rendering success impossible by their own
crossgrained ungentleness; whilst others, it may be much less
gifted, make their way and achieve success by simple patience,
equanimity, and self-control.
It has been said that men succeed in life quite as much by their
temper as by their talents.


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