That was for the worst; but it began to dawn slowly on
my mind that there was yet a possible better. Once
escaped, once safe in Callao, I might approach my
creditors with a good grace; and, properly handled by a
cunning agent, it was just possible they might accept
some easy composition. The hope recalled me to the
bankruptcy. It was strange, I reflected: often as I
had questioned Jim, he had never obliged me with an
answer. In his haste for news about the wreck, my own
no less legitimate curiosity had gone disappointed.
Hateful as the thought was to me, I must return at once
and find out where I stood.
I left my dinner still unfinished, paying for the
whole, of course, and tossing the waiter a gold piece.
I was reckless; I knew not what was mine, and cared
not: I must take what I could get and give as I was
able; to rob and to squander seemed the complementary
parts of my new destiny. I walked up Bush Street,
whistling, brazening myself to confront Mamie in the
first place, and the world at large and a certain
visionary judge upon a bench in the second.
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