I feel as if I had had no right (after I was
engaged) to operate so widely."
"Well, you know, Jim, it was my doing, and you must lay
the blame on me," said I.
"Not a cent of it!" he cried. "I was as eager as
yourself, only not so bright at the beginning. No;
I've myself to thank for it; but it's a wrench."
While Jim departed on his dolorous mission, I returned
alone to the office, lit the gas, and sat down to
reflect on the events of that momentous day: on the
strange features of the tale that had been so far
unfolded, the disappearances, the terrors, the great
sums of money; and on the dangerous and ungrateful task
that awaited me in the immediate future.
It is difficult, in the retrospect of such affairs, to
avoid attributing to ourselves in the past a measure of
the knowledge we possess to-day. But I may say, and
yet be well within the mark, that I was consumed that
night with a fever of suspicion and curiosity;
exhausted my fancy in solutions, which I still
dismissed as incommensurable with the facts; and in the
mystery by which I saw myself surrounded found a
precious stimulus for my courage and a convenient
soothing draught for conscience.
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