But the spirit of make-believe conquered even
the bitterness of recent shame; and my clerk took his
orders, and fell to his new duties, with decorum and
civility.
Such were my first impressions in this absurd place of
education; and, to be frank, they were far from
disagreeable. As long as I was rich, my evenings and
afternoons would be my own; the clerk must keep my
books, the clerk could do the jostling and bawling in
the exchange; and I could turn my mind to landscape-
painting and Balzac's novels, which were then my two
pre-occupations. To remain rich, then, became my
problem; or, in other words, to do a safe, conservative
line of business. I am looking for that line still;
and I believe the nearest thing to it in this imperfect
world is the sort of speculation sometimes insidiously
proposed to childhood, in the formula, "Heads I win;
tails you lose." Mindful of my father's parting words,
I turned my attention timidly to railroads; and for a
month or so maintained a position of inglorious
security, dealing for small amounts in the most inert
stocks, and bearing (as best I could) the scorn of my
hired clerk.
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