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Gardiner, A. G. (Alfred George), 1865-1946

"Pebbles on the shore [by] Alpha of the plough"

" "It's the fourth house from here to the
right," said my friend, and the coal-heaver thanked him and went away. That
illustrates the practical case for a tax on house names.
But it was not that case which was in Sir Edward's mind. His view is that
we ought to pay for the innocent vanity of living at Chatsworth House
instead of 236, Belinda Avenue. Now if that principle is carried into
effect, I see no end to its operation. I am not sure that Sir Edward
himself would escape. I have often admired his magnificent side-whiskers. I
doubt whether there is a pair of side-whiskers to match them in London.
That he is proud of them goes without saying. Nobody could possibly have
whiskers like them without feeling proud of them. I feel that if I had such
whiskers I should never be away from the looking-glass. And consider the
pleasurable employment they give in idle moments. Satan, it is said, has
mischief still for idle hands to do. But no one with such streamers as Sir
Edward's can ever have idle hands. When you have nothing else to do with
them you stroke your whiskers and purr.


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