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Gardiner, A. G. (Alfred George), 1865-1946

"Pebbles on the shore [by] Alpha of the plough"

It is the principle of taxing us on our vanities. I am not
suggesting that there is not also a practical point in Sir Edward's idea.
There is no doubt that this custom of giving our houses names is the source
of much unnecessary labour and irritation to other people--postmen,
tradesmen, debt collectors, and errand boys. Mr. Smythe--formerly Smith--of
236, Belinda Avenue, is easily discoverable, but what are you to do about
Mr. Smythe, of Chatsworth House, Belinda Avenue, on a dark night? How are
you to find him? There are 350 houses in Belinda Avenue, all as like as two
peas, and though Mr. Smythe has a number, he never admits it. Chatsworth
House is where he lives, and if you want him it's Chatsworth House that you
have to find.
The other night a friend of mine was called to the door at a late hour. It
was dark and raining and dismal. At the door stood a coal-heaver. "Please,
sir," he said, "can you tell me where Balmoral is? I've got a load of coal
to take there, and I've been up and down this road in the dark twice, and
can't make out where it is.


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