" There you will find several young
men whom only as late as that afternoon you counted among your
very best friends, but who do not, at the present, seem to
remember ever having met you before. Seizing the arm of one of
these you say, "Tom, I want you to meet----" That is as far as
you will get, for Tom will suddenly interrupt you by remarking,
"Excuse me a minute, Ed--, I see a girl over there I've simply
got to speak to. I'll come right back."
He will not come right back. He will not come back at all. And
after you have met with the same response from four other
so-called friends, you should return to the South Orange visitor
and "carry on."
At the end of the second hour, however, your mind should begin to
clear, and if you are at all possessed of the qualifications for
future ballroom leadership, you should gradually throw off the
slough of despond and determine to make a fight for life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness. And when the music has once more
ceased, you should ask your partner if she would not care to take
a jaunt in the open air.
"I know a lovely walk," you should say, "across a quaint old
bridge."
The rest is, of course, easy. Arrived in the middle of the quaint
old bridge, which leads across a cavern some three hundred feet
deep, you should quickly seize the tall college graduate, and
push her, not too roughly or ungentlemanly, off the bridge.
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