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Stewart, Donald Ogden, 1894-1980

"Perfect Behavior; a guide for ladies and gentlemen in all social crises"

"
Uncle Frank choked on a bone
From eating shad au gratin
Aunt Ethel said it served him right
And went back to her flat in
NEWARK (spoken)
Poor Uncle Frank! (chanted)
I love my little finger bowl
So full of late filet of sole.
Cousin George at lunch one day
Remarked, "That apple looks quite tasty.
Now George a dentist's bill must pay
Because he was so very hasty.
The proverb's teachings we must hold
"All that glitters is not gold."
And mama said to George, "Oh, shoot,
You've gone and ruined my glass fruit."
Jim broke bread into his soup,
Jim knocked Mrs. Vanderbilt for a loop.
Kate drank from her finger bowl,
Kate knocked Mrs. Vanderbilt for a goal.
Children who perform such tricks
Are socially in Class G-6.

ETIQUETTE IN THE SCHOOL
OF course, as the children become older, the instruction should
gradually come to embrace all forms of correct behaviour, and the
youthful games and rhymes should give way to the more complex and
intricate problems of mature social etiquette. It is suggested
that the teachings during this period may be successfully
combined with the young gentleman's or lady's other schoolroom
studies; in the case of mathematics, for example, the instruction
might be handled in somewhat the following manner:

A Problem in Mathematics (7th grade)
A swimmer starts across a stream which is 450 yards wide. He
swims for five minutes at the rate of three miles per hour, and
for three minutes at the rate of four miles per hour.


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