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Stewart, Donald Ogden, 1894-1980

"Perfect Behavior; a guide for ladies and gentlemen in all social crises"


If the guest uses wrong fork or spoon, 5 points.
If the guest chokes on bone, 8 points.
If the guest blows on soup, 5 points.
If the guest drops fork or spoon, 3 points.
If the guest spills soup on table, 10 points.
If the guest spills soup on self, 1 point.

Of course it is often well to tell the guests about the game in
advance in order that they may not feel embarrassed but will
enter thoroughly into the spirit of this helpful sport.

A CHILD'S GARDEN OF ETIQUETTE
Children can also acquire knowledge more easily if it is imparted
to them in the form of verse or easy rhymes, and many valuable
facts about the dinner table can be embodied in children's
verses. A few of these which I can remember from my own happy
childhood are as follows:
Oh, wouldn't it be jolly
To be a nice hors d'oeuvre
And just bring joy to people
Whom fondest you were of.
Soup is eaten with a spoon
But not to any haunting tune.
Oysters live down in the sea
In zones both temp. and torrid,
And when they are good they are very good indeed,
And when they are bad they are horrid.
My papa makes a lovely Bronx
With gin so rare and old,
And two of them will set you right
But four will knock you cold.
The boys with Polly will not frolic
Because she's eaten too much garlic.
Mama said the other day,
"A little goes a long, long way."
A wind came up out of the sea
And said, "Those dams are not for me.


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