Thus, on the first hand, you "pass." Mr. Watts then says, "Wait a
minute, till I get these cards fixed"; to which Mrs. Watts
replies, "Theodore, for Heaven's sake, how long do you want?" Mr.
Watts then says, "Which is higher--clubs or hearts?" to which
Mrs. Watts replies, "Clubs." Mrs. Dollings then says, "I beg your
pardon, but hearts have always been considered higher than
clubs." Mrs. Watts says, "Oh, yes, of course," and gives Mr.
Watts a mean look. Mr. Watts then says, "I bid--let's see--I bid
two spades --no, two diamonds." Mrs. Dollings quickly says, "Two
lilies," Mr. Watts says, "What's a lily?" to which Mrs. Watts
replies, "Theodore!" and then bids "Two spades," at which Mrs.
Dollings says, "I beg your pardon, but I have just bid two
spades." Mr. Watts then chuckles, and Mrs. Watts says (but not to
Mr. Watts), "I beg your pardon." Mrs. Watts then bids "Three
spades," at which you quickly say, "Four spades."
This bid is not "raised." Mrs. Dollings then says to you, "I am
counting on your spades to help me out," at which you look at the
only spade in your hand (the three) and answer, "Ha! Ha! Ha!"
There is then a wait of four minutes, at the end of which Mrs.
Dollings wearily says, "It is your first lead, is it not, Mrs.
Watts?" Mrs. Watts then blushes, says, "Oh, I beg your pardon!"
and leads the four of hearts. You then lay down your "dummy"
hand. Before Mrs. Dollings has had time to discover just what you
have done to her, you should rise quickly and say, "Excuse me,
but I want to use the telephone a minute.
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