" The
employer will then say, "Well, well, call it six. I generally get
five on this hole. What did you take?" The young man should then
laugh cheerily and reply, "Oh, I took my customary seven." To
which the employer will sympathetically say, "Too bad!"
After the employer has thus won his first three holes he will
begin to offer the young man advice on how to improve his game.
This is perhaps the most trying part of the afternoon's sport,
but a young man of correct breeding and good taste will always
remember the respect due an older man, and will not make the
vulgar error of telling his employer for God's sake shut up
before he gets a brassie in his ---- ---- ear.
A wife playing with her husband should do everything in her power
to make the game enjoyable for the latter. She should encourage
him, when possible, with little cheering proverbs, such as, "If
at first you don't succeed, try, try again," and she should aid
him with her advice when she thinks he is in need of it. Thus,
when he drives into the sycamore tree on number eleven, she
should say, "Don't you think, dear, that if you aimed a little
bit more to the right. . . ." et cetera. When they come to number
fourteen, and his second shot lands in the middle of the lake,
she should remark, "Perhaps you didn't hit it hard enough, dear."
And when, on the eighteenth, his approach goes through the
second-story window of the club-house, she should say, "Dear, I
wonder if you didn't hit that too hard?" Such a wife is a true
helpmate, and not merely a pretty ornament on which a silly
husband can hang expensive clothes, and if he is the right sort
of man, he will appreciate this, and refrain from striking her
with a niblick after this last remark.
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