In the first place,
you won't be able to dance because Dry Agents, like Englishmen,
never can; secondly, if you TRY to dance, you are taking the
enormous chance, especially at a masquerade, that the man who
introduced you to your partner will disappear for the rest of the
evening, leaving you with Somebody's Albatross hanging around
your neck. And, of all Albatrosses, the married one is perhaps
farthest South--especially if she happens to be a little tight
and wants to talk about her husband and children.
Your policy, therefore, should be one of complete
non-partisanship. If you do not dance, do not let yourself be
drawn into conversation, and do not, above all things, show any
consideration for the host or hostess. By closely observing the
actions of the men and women about you, by wandering down into
the club bar, by peeking into the automobiles parked outside the
club, you will probably be able to obtain sufficient evidence of
the presence of alcohol to justify a raid. And then, when you
have raided the Glen Cove Country Club, you can turn your
attention to the 12,635,439 other clubs and private houses where
the same thing is going on. And, if Mr. Volstead has a dress
suit, you might take him with you, and show him just how
beautifully Prohibition is working and how enthusiastic the
better classes of American society are about it.
CHAPTER SIX: A CHAPTER FOR SCHOOLGIRLS
Every Fall a larger number of young girls leave home to come East
to the various Finishing Schools in this section of the country.
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