My own particular favorite for this is the
following, accompanied by a low sigh: "After all--Beethoven IS
Beethoven."
CORRECT BEHAVIOR AT A PIANO RECITAL
The same procedure is recommended for the piano or violin
recital, with the possible addition of certain phrases such as
"Yes --of course, she has technique--but, my dear, so has an
electric piano." This remark gives you a splendid opportunity for
sarcasm at the expense of Mr. Duo-Art and other manufacturers of
mere mechanical perfection; the word "soul"--pronounced with deep
feeling, as when repeating a fish order to a stupid waiter--may
be introduced effectively several times.
The program at these recitals is likely to be more complex than
that at a symphony concert. This is a distinct advantage, for it
gives you a splendid opportunity to catch some wretch applauding
before the music is really finished. Nothing is quite comparable
to the satisfaction of smiling knowingly at your neighbors when
this faux pas is committed, unless it be the joy of being the
first to applaud at the REAL conclusion. This latter course,
however, is fraught with danger for the beginner; the chances for
errors in judgment are many, and the only sure way to avoid
anachronistic applause is to play the safe game and refrain
altogether from any expression of approval--a procedure which is
heartily recommended for the musically ignorant, it being also
the practise among the majority of the critics.
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