But to return to our train. Perhaps by this time the mother and
Elmer will have returned and you will be relieved of further
investigation as to the cause of the infant's discomfort. A few
minutes later, however, little Elmer will say "Mama, I want the
window open." This request will be duly referred to you via the
line of authority. It is then your duty to assume a firm upright
stance, with the weight evenly distributed on both feet, and work
for twelve minutes and thirty-nine seconds in a terrific struggle
to raise the windows. At the end of twelve minutes and forty
seconds you will succeed, the window will slowly go up, and the
train will at once enter a tunnel, filling the car and you with
coal smoke. In the resulting darkness and confusion you should
seize little Elmer, throw him quickly out of the open window and
make your escape to the gentlemen's smoking compartment in the
rear of your car.
In the "smoker" you will find three men. The first of these will
be saying "and he told me that a bootlegger he knew had cleaned
up a thousand dollars a week since January." The second will say
"Well down where I come from there's men who never took a drink
before prohibition who get drunk all the time now." The third
will say "Well, I tell you, men--the saloon had to go."
Provision for satisfying the "inner man" is now a regular part of
the equipment of all modern trains, and about 6:30 or 7 you
should leave your companions in the "smoker" and walk through the
train until you reach the "diner.
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