"How would you
like some nice assorted hors d'oeuvres?" you say. "Waaaaa!" says
the baby. "No hors d'oeuvres," you say to the waiter. "Some blue
points, perhaps--you know, o-y-s-t-e-r-s?" You might even act out
a blue point or two, as in charades, so that the child will
understand what you mean. In case, however, the baby does not
cease crying after having eaten the first three or four courses,
you should not insist on a salad and a dessert, for probably it
is not hunger which is occasioning the outcry. Perhaps it is a
pin, in which case you should at once bend every effort to the
discovery and removal of the irritant. The most generally
accepted modern way of effecting this consists in passing a large
electro-magnet over every portion of the child's anatomy and the
pin (if pin there be) will of course at once come to light. Then,
too, many small children cry merely because they have swallowed
something which does not agree with them, such as, for example, a
gold tooth or a shoe horn; the remedy in this case consists in
IMMEDIATELY feeding the child the proper counter irritant. There
is, really, no great mystery about the successful raising of
children and with a few common sense principles, such as
presented above, any mother may relieve herself of a great deal
of useless anxiety. I hope I may be pardoned for a digression
here, but I feel very strongly that "today's babies are
tomorrow's citizens" and I do want to see them brought up in the
proper way.
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