" This is always done.
After you have seated yourself and the train has started the
lady's little boy will announce, "I want a drink, Mama." After he
has repeated this eleven times his mother will say to you "I
wonder if you would mind holding the baby while I take Elmer to
get a drink?"
The etiquette of holding babies is somewhat difficult for
bachelors to master at first as there are no hard and fast rules
governing conduct under these circumstances. An easy "hold" for
beginners and one which is difficult for the ordinary baby to
break consists in wrapping the left and right arms firmly around
the center of the child, at the same time clutching the clothing
with the right hand and the toes with the left and praying to God
that the damn thing won't drop.
In this particular case, after Elmer and his mother have gone
down the aisle after a drink, the baby which you are holding will
at once begin to cry. Now as every mother knows, and especially
those mothers who have had children, a baby does not cry without
some specific reason and all that is necessary in the present
instance is to discover this reason. First of all, the child may
be merely hungry, in which case you should at once ask the porter
to bring you the a la carte menu. You should then carefully go
over the list of dishes with the infant, taking care to spell out
and explain such names as he may not understand.
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