Three or more middle-aged ladies, riding
together, should never decide as to who is to pay the fare until
the conductor has gone stark raving mad.
{illustration caption =
Her conduct has stamped the young lady as a provincial and it is
not to be wondered at if suppressed titters and half audible
chuckles follow her about the room. PERFECT BEHAVIOR would have
taught her that it is not the prerogative of a muddy-complexioned
dud--even if she has had only one dance and her costume is very
expensive--to cut in on a gentleman (by grabbing his neck or any
other method) when he is dancing with the wide-eyed beauty from
the South who leaves in five minutes to catch a train. He will be
within his rights when, at the end of five minutes, after three
unsuccessful attempts to loosen her grip, he will carry her into
the garden under false pretences and there play the hose on her
until she drowns.
{illustration caption =
They are leaving the home of an intimate friend of several weeks'
standing, after having witnessed a Private Theatrical. Both feel
that some return should be made for their hostess's kindness but
neither is certain as to just what form the return should take.
The Book of PERFECT BEHAVIOR would have pointed out to them that
the only adequate and satisfactory revenge for this sort of thing
is to invite the lady, as soon as possible without exciting her
suspicion, to attend an Italian opera or a drawing-room musicale.
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