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Stewart, Donald Ogden, 1894-1980

"Perfect Behavior; a guide for ladies and gentlemen in all social crises"

This slight error always causes Aunt Nellie and
Uncle Fred to sit up in the gallery with the family cook.
With the arrival of the bride, the signal is given to the
organist to start the wedding march, usually either Mendelssohn's
or Wagner's. About this time the mother of the bride generally
discovers that the third candle from the left on the rear altar
has not been lighted, which causes a delay of some fifteen
minutes during which time the organist improvises one hundred and
seventy-three variations on the opening strains of the march.
Finally all is adjusted and the procession starts down the aisle
led by the ushers swaying slowly side by side. It is always
customary for three or four of the eight ushers to have
absolutely no conception of time or rhythm, which adds a quaint
touch of uncertainty and often a little humor to the performance.
After the Scotch mist left by the passing ushers has cleared,
there come the bridesmaids, the maid of honor, and then, leaning
on her father's arm (unless, of course, her father is dead), the
bride.
In the meantime, the bridegroom has been carried in by the best
man and awaits the procession at the foot of the aisle, which is
usually four hundred and forty yards long. The ushers and
bridesmaids step awkwardly to one side; the groom advances and a
hush falls over the congregation which is the signal for the
bride's little niece to ask loudly, "What's that funny looking
man going to do, Aunt Dotty?"
Then follows the religious ceremony.


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