He says to you, "Well, boys, you look
all in." You do not reply. He continues, "Gosh, I feel fine." You
make no response. He then begins to chuckle, "I don't suppose you
remember," he says, "what you said to the bride's mother when I
brought you home last night." You sit quickly up in bed. "What
did I say?" you ask. "Was I tight?" "Were you tight?" he replies,
still chuckling. "Don't you remember what you said? And don't you
remember trying to get the bride's father to slide down the
banisters with you? Were you tight--Oh, my gosh!" He then exits,
chuckling. Statistics of several important life insurance
companies show that that type of man generally dies a violent
death before the age of thirty.
THE REHEARSAL
The rehearsal for the wedding is usually held in the church on
the afternoon preceding the day of the nuptials. The ushers, of
course, are an hour late, which gives the bridegroom (Bap.) an
opportunity to meet the minister (Epis.) and have a nice, long
chat about religion, while the best man (Atheist) talks to the
eighty-three year old sexton who buried the bride's grandpa and
grandma and has knowed little Miss Dorothy come twenty years next
Michaelmas. The best man's offer of twenty-five dollars, if the
sexton will at once bury the maid of honor, is generally refused
as a matter of courtesy.
THE BRIDAL DINNER
In the evening, the parents of the bride give the bridal dinner,
to which all the relatives and close friends of the family are
invited.
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