" It is your duty, as best man, to go to the
hotel where the ushers are stopping and bring them to this tea.
Just as you will leave on this mission the groom will whisper in
your ear, "For God's sake, remember to tell them that her father
and mother are terribly opposed to drinking in any form." This is
an awfully good joke on her father and mother.
As you step out of the hotel elevator you hear at the end of the
hall a chorus shouting, "Mademoiselle from Armentieres--parlez
vous!" Those are your ushers.
Opening the door of the room you step forward and announce,
"Fellows, we have got to go to a tea right away. Come on--let's
go." At this, ten young men in cutaways will stand up and shout,
"Yeaaa--the best man--give the best man a drink!" From then on,
at twelve minute intervals, it is your duty to say, "Fellows, we
have got to go to a tea right away. Come on--let's go." Each time
you will be handed another drink, which you may take with either
your right or left hand.
After an hour the telephone will ring. It will be the groom. He
will say, "Everybody is waiting for you and the ushers," to which
you reply, "We are just leaving." He then says, "And don't forget
to tell them what I told you about her father and mother."
You then hang up the receiver, take a drink in one hand and say,
"Fellows, I have a very solemn message for you. It's a message
which is of deep importance to each one of us.
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