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Stewart, Donald Ogden, 1894-1980

"Perfect Behavior; a guide for ladies and gentlemen in all social crises"

Upon entering the
telephone-booth, which is located, say, in some drug store, you
remove the receiver from the hook and deposit the requisite coin
in the coin box. After an interval of some minutes a young lady
(referred to as "Central") will ask for your "Number, please."
Suppose, for example, that you wish to get Bryant 4310. Remove
your hat politely and speak that number into the mouthpiece.
"Central" will then say, "Rhinelander 4310." To which you reply,
"NO, Central--BRYANT 4310." Central then says, "I beg your
pardon--Bryant 4310," to which you reply, "Yes, please." In a few
minutes a voice at the other end of the line says, "Hello," to
which you answer, "Is Miss Doe at home?" The voice then says,
"Who?" You say, "Miss Doe, please--Miss Dorothy Doe." You then
hear the following, "Wait a minute. Say, Charlie, is they anybody
works around here by the name of Doe? There's a guy wants to talk
to a Miss Doe. Here--you answer it." Another voice then says,
"Hello." You reply "Hello." He says, "What do you want?" You
reply, "I wish to speak to Miss Dorothy Doe." He says, "What
department does she work in?" You reply, "Is this the residence
of J. Franklin Doe, President of the First National Bank?" He
says, "Wait a minute." You wait a minute. You wait several.
Another voice--a new voice says-"Hello." You reply "Hello." He
says, "Give me Stuyvesant 8864." You say, "But I'm trying to get
Miss Doe--Miss Dorothy Doe.


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