The "introduction," in cases where you have no mutual friend to
do the introducing, is somewhat more difficult but can generally
be arranged as follows:
Procure a few feet of stout manila rope or clothes-line, from any
of the better-class hardware stores. Ascertain (from the Social
Register, preferably) the location of the young lady's residence,
and go there on some dark evening about nine o'clock. Fasten the
rope across the sidewalk in front of the residence about six
inches or a foot from the ground. Then, with the aid of a match
and some kerosene, set fire to the young lady's house in several
places and retire behind a convenient tree. After some time, if
she is at home, she will probably be forced to run out of her
house to avoid being burned to death. In her excitement she will
fail to notice the rope which you have stretched across the
sidewalk and will fall. This is your opportunity to obtain an
introduction. Stepping up to her and touching your hat politely,
you say, in a well modulated voice, "I beg your pardon, Miss Doe,
but I cannot help noticing that you are lying prone on the
sidewalk." If she is well bred, she will not at first speak to
you, as you are a perfect stranger. This silence, however, should
be your cue to once more tip your hat and remark, "I realize,
Miss Doe, that I have not had the honor of an introduction, but
you will admit that you are lying prone on the sidewalk.
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