Roe, I want you to shake hands with my
friend Dorothy." Under the rules of the beau monde (correct form)
this would probably be done as follows: "Dorothy (or Miss Doe),
shake hands with Mr. Roe." Always give the name of the lady
first, unless you are introducing some one to the President of
the United States, the Archbishop of Canterbury, a member of the
nobility above a baron, or a customer. The person who is being
"introduced" then extends his (or her) right ungloved hand and
says, "Shake." You "shake," saying at the same time, "It's warm
(cool) for November (May)," to which the other replies, "I'll say
it is."
This brings up the interesting question of introducing two people
to each other, neither of whose names you can remember. This is
generally done by saying very quickly to one of the parties, "Of
course you know Miss Unkunkunk." Say the last "unk" very quickly,
so that it sounds like any name from Ab to Zinc. You might even
sneeze violently. Of course, in nine cases out of ten, one of the
two people will at once say, "I didn't get the name," at which
you laugh, "Ha! Ha! Ha!" in a carefree manner several times,
saying at the same time, "Well, well--so you didn't get the
name--you didn't get the name --well, well." If the man still
persists in wishing to know who it is to whom he is being
introduced, the best procedure consists in simply braining him on
the spot with a club or convenient slab of paving stone.
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