And yet with all
my observation and careful study of those around me,
I have many times been unable to decide what was the
feeling of the cadets toward me. Some have been one
thing everywhere and at all times, not unkind or
ungenerous, nor even unwilling to hear me and be with
me, or near me, or on duty with me, or alone with me.
Some again, while not avoiding me in the presence of
others have nevertheless manifested their uneasy dislike
of my proximity. When alone with me they are kind, and
all I could wish them to be. Others have not only
strenuously avoided me when with their companions, but
have even at times shown a low disposition, a desire to
wound my feelings or to chill me with their coldness.
But alone, behold they know how to mimic gentlemen. The
kind of treatment which I was to receive, and have
received at the hands of the cadets, has been a matter
of little moment to me. True, it has at times been
galling, but its severest effects have been but temporary
and have caused me no considerable trouble or
inconvenience. I have rigidly overlooked it all.
The officers, on the contrary, as officers and gentlemen,
have in a manner been bound to accord me precisely the
Same privileges and advantages, etc., which they granted
the other cadets, and they have ever done so.
I must confess my expectations in this last have been
most positively unfulfilled, and I am glad of it.
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